The beats

Happy Birthday Frida Kahlo

I'm pending signs of gratification and replenishing the resentment from my self loathing perception.

Loosely i drink a cup of intoxicating wine,

filling me up and digesting into,fear.

Leading me to a room that once wasn't there, the people stop to stare.

Slowly i pass by, inhaling the evening's bright lit sky,

my mind keeps wandering,

and he keeps calling, i'm drowning in delusions.

My goal is simple.....get off my ass and get a job.

I need that scrilla.

nineteen and jaded.

I'm having a mid life crisis at age 19, which would make it a late adolescent crisis....whatever the case might be, im loosing it. Sense of style and all. I feel like a naked kitten, shaven of its dignity. Where do i stand? Nowhere. I'm witnessing myself become overly confident and at the same time highly self conscious. I should shut myself in my nerd haven, listen to joy division(my current obsession), sink deep into my books and shut out the oblivious world, or i can just go to trader joes and get some food to devour....

"You swallowed everything, like distance. 

Like the sea, like time. In you everything sank!" 

Illuminated smiles under the moonlight,

Sinking deeper in the night

Our skin, frigid, soft, like silken sheets in the summer heat

Lying under this willow tree

Fed up with the worlds political schemes,

Fading

Sinking into each others arms

Feeling,

Bitter sweet infatuation,

The universe is our limitation

Sweet love of mine,

Keep me alive

Under this willow tree beneath

Our moonlight sky.

Engrave the new wave in my brain.