My goal is simple.....get off my ass and get a job.

I need that scrilla.

nineteen and jaded.

I'm having a mid life crisis at age 19, which would make it a late adolescent crisis....whatever the case might be, im loosing it. Sense of style and all. I feel like a naked kitten, shaven of its dignity. Where do i stand? Nowhere. I'm witnessing myself become overly confident and at the same time highly self conscious. I should shut myself in my nerd haven, listen to joy division(my current obsession), sink deep into my books and shut out the oblivious world, or i can just go to trader joes and get some food to devour....

"You swallowed everything, like distance. 

Like the sea, like time. In you everything sank!" 

Illuminated smiles under the moonlight,

Sinking deeper in the night

Our skin, frigid, soft, like silken sheets in the summer heat

Lying under this willow tree

Fed up with the worlds political schemes,

Fading

Sinking into each others arms

Feeling,

Bitter sweet infatuation,

The universe is our limitation

Sweet love of mine,

Keep me alive

Under this willow tree beneath

Our moonlight sky.

Engrave the new wave in my brain.

syd barrett blues

She said its nice to see you,
but words, don't matter.
Her words are contradicting,
and yet it don't matter.
cause your just a girl in a room,
a girl with a whimsical smile.
and im just fed up with the worlds attire.
Im giving up,
im staying here and im dying,
slowly.
Hopeless,
yes im hopeless.
Without you.
Im sleeping in the moment,
and living insane,
this joint is just reliving
my excruciating pain.
Lying here, staring at the wall.
and yes,
i don't know
i really don't know,
what to do with myself.

One night

Jesus keeps telling me
She'll never come.
She's bitterly absent,
to busy controlling the weather.
Breaking my heart into pieces
not even knowing her,
personally at least.
My mind keeps drifting away from the galaxy.
Eyes on her.
Deadly cunt.
Breaking me, rattling me up.
Christ.
My mind keeps on telling me
Its all a hopeless phase,
one night
Her eyes were in a daze
Fucking was her style
She'll be off by 1
AM that is,
15 min of pleasure
nothing but
one night.